And Forever
by Shiny Ryuichi Sakuma
Summary: Slash. SSxJP. Post-Voldie. James wasn't killed but he was kept in the depths of Riddle Manor. With Voldie's death, James is released from the spell that had bound him and returns to Hogwart's. Harry meets his father but he starts to discover things that h
1. All I Need is Your Smiling Face

Title: ....And Forever  
  
Summary: Post-Voldie. James wasn't killed but he was kept in the depths of Riddle Manor. With Voldie's death, James is released from the spell that had bound him and returns to Hogwart's. Harry meets his father but he starts to discover things that he didn't want to know about James...  
  
Warning: Male x Male  
  
Notes: Harry is in his seventh year. Yes, you will see parallels between this story and Finding Hope in the Darkness, mostly concerning Chapter 18. X_X  
  
Disclaimers: not mine. The song below is ...And Forever from the Big O anime and it's not mine either  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Sometimes I feel so all alone Finding myself callin' your name When we're apart, so far away Hopin' it's me that you're thinkin' of Could it be true, could it be real? My heart says that you're the one. There's noone else, you're the only one for me. Yes, this time my love's the real thing. Never felt that love is so right. The world seemed such an empty place. We need someone we could give our all. Baby, it's you, we'll be together now and forever.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
Hazel eyes shuddered open slowly for the first time in twenty years. The fathomless depths blinked rapidly to clear the film that covered them until they were at their full splendor. The pupils dilated and contracted several times to get used to seeing light once again. The tall and lean frame trembled as the muscles, bones, blood, and other vital necessities of life began to awaken from their two decade old rest. A pale hand rose, shakingly, towards disheveled raven hair, running through the tangled strands almost as if checking to see if this were a dream.  
  
"I'm alive," the voice rasped, unused to speaking. The young man rose weakly to his feet and cast an inquisitive glance around the room he was in. Flashes of the past greeted him upon seeing the alter that he'd been chained to while a Death Eater cast a spell to assure he wouldn't retaliate. James Potter cringed, remembering how the spell had taken exruciatingly long to finish as his body froze from toes to head. How long had he been here? What had happened that had freed him?  
  
James hesitantly pulled the door open, greeted by a sudden rush of cold wind as he stepped into the dimly lit corridor. There wasn't a Death Eater there to welcome him back to reality nor was there any other life teeming in the seemingly abandoned dungeon. The cobwebs and rats were evidence of that. James felt inside the sleeve of his robe, godsmacked that his wand was there. A deluge of fiery swept though him. Knowing the Death Eater's, they'd positioned the wand on him in order to humiliate him.  
  
With a simple fire spell, James judged that the wind was coming from an underground passage that would hopefully lead him from Riddle Manor Dungeons. With the flame flickering, James wound through the maze of corridors, half-expecting for the vast prison to be full of Voldemort's enemies but the cells were all empty. Something James found peculiar because he could have sworn that when he was being roughly dragged through the winding corridors that he had heard people being tormented.  
  
True to James's calculations, the corridor he was in abruptly stopped and the sun flooded his path. The gardens and grass were overgrown and the exterior of the manor was demolished in several places but James couldn't help but be marveled. Why did it feel so long since he'd seen the outside world? It couldn't have been that long ago that he was imprisoned, could it? The birds were singing their lullabies in the trees, a few small animals scurried into the bushes, butterflies and bees did their magic on the wildflowers. James inhaled, relieved to be alive.  
  
Then, thoughts went to Lilly and his infant son. He doubted they had fared as well as he had. James sighed. He wasn't going to get depressed. He couldn't do anything for his deceased family any longer. It was time to think about himself and what it was he could do. There was only one obvious place that he could go to but he was reluctant to return to Hogwart's. He didn't want to give anyone a heartattack. Summoning his courage, James apparated to Hogsmeade.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~  
  
The familiar sights, sounds and smells were welcoming as James appeared at Hogsmeade. His cowl shadowed his face so he wouldn't be spotted by anyone that might know him. There was an oddness in the air. Almost....a happiness. A happiness that he hadn't sensed in years. James looked around the village. There seemed to be festivities. Children were laughing and playing, banners in some of their hands. The adults were milling around, greeting other wizard's with such gaiety and joy that James was taken aback. Where was the fear of Voldemort?  
  
James was confused and he knew he would get his answers from Albus. He ignored the few stares and pointing in his direction as he advanced towards Hogwart's. He passed students on his way, surprised when he thought he recognised some of his friends in their youthful visages. That was impossible though. These children had to be in their teens. James breathed in deeply as he entered Hogwart's.  
  
It had changed since his school days and was puzzling was the same banners and same celebration as he'd seen in Hogsmeade. What was going on? James cast an aura-sensing spell, looking for Dumbledore. He was in his office. Thank Merlin. Memories of his years at Hogwart's floated in his mind. His friends, Lilly, the awful tricks that the Marauder's would play on the Slytherin's, and Severus.  
  
James paused in front of the gargoyles, surprised when they moved for him immediately. James grinned wanly. He shouldn't have been shocked that Albus already knew he was at Hogwart's. James calmed his erratic pulse and knotted entrails as he opened the doors to Albus's office. His lips parted in a silent cry as his hazel eyes flitted from the beaming Albus to a dark haired man seated across from the Headmaster. The man's obsidian eyes widened, entire face draining of colour. James released a shaky breath, disbelieving that the person was in fact who he was.  
  
"Wh...what the hell?!" Severus Snape lept from the chair, staring at James as he trembled with the onslaught of all the different emotions he was experiencing. "It can't be! It just can't be! You died! You can't be alive!" Severus shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat and going in reverse until he was cornered.  
  
"Sev," James breathed, tears beginning to form. "Oh Sev, I'm alive."  
  
"Is this some sort of sick joke? I saw you die. I was responsible for it!" Severus bellowed, brows knitted, switching to fury. "No! Stay away from me!" he grabbed his wand, pointing in James's direction as the younger man began to walk towards him. "I will not take part in this cruelty so whoever is waiting outside those doors can laugh at me."  
  
"Severus, please, I know this is difficult for you to understand but I am real. I'm not some type of phantom. Lower your wand." James pleaded, hands raised in the defensive, knowing that Severus was a ticking bomb and any second he could explode. "Please."  
  
That was voice that he had once been so used to obeying. That voice that Severus was the only one priviledged enough to hear in the throes of passion, that voice that would soothe him like a lullaby, that voice that would utter sweet nothings in his ears. "I can't," Severus choked, unable to prevent the few tears that streaked his cheeks. "I'm afraid this is a dream."  
  
James smiled, closing the distance between them. He gently lowered his hand to cup Severus's cheek. "Do you feel me, Sev?" Severus nodded, eyes shuddering close. Merlin, how long had it been since he'd been touched by anyone that make his entire being be consumed with fire? "Then this isn't a dream and I assure you that I'm flesh and blood." James wryly grinned. "You still look the same, just more.....sad."  
  
Severus allowed James to slip his other arm around his waist as he buried his head against James's chest. The heart beat was strong and clear, beating as fast as his. James was just as nervous as he was. "It's been nearly twenty years, James."  
  
James visage went pale. "Twenty years? I've been under that spell for twenty years? That's impossible. It doesn't feel like that long. That means, you're in your fourties, doesn't it?"  
  
Severus laughed sardonically. "Yes, and you can't be more than twenty- five."  
  
"Twenty-two, actually," Albus remarked from his desk, eyes glittering with amusement. James hastily released Severus. "James, how nice to see you looking so well. You and Severus need to have a long discussion regarding....things....that have happened since you were put under that spell and before. You need to settle your feelings but not yet. I think it best I inform you, James, of what has happened to cause you to be released from the bonds of Glacialis."  
  
James took a seat, thankful that Severus sat beside him. He knew that he and Severus required a conversation to relieve Severus's guilt and to also see where they stood with each other now. "I don't understand Albus. I still look the same yet Severus has aged."  
  
"Glacialis is a spell that freezes the body and ends the corrosion of time upon the being. It was originally designed to aide the diseased when modern potions and magic weren't available but would be in the future so that the patient could be treated. Unfortunately, those who had an evil agenda decided to use Glacialis against their enemies in a terrible form of torture."  
  
"I see. That explains the ageing but why was I suddenly freed from Glacialis?"  
  
Albus grinned. "Voldemort is no longer a threat to the world. He's dead."  
  
James laughed, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders. "Dead! How'd you do it Albus?" Albus and Severus shared a Look that was not missed by James. "What is it?"  
  
"I did not defeat Voldemort. Someone else more powerful than I finally ended Voldemort's reign of terror."  
  
"Well who was it? Must be a powerful wizard if he's surpassed you."  
  
"James, this might be hard for you to hear, extremely hard." James cocked his head to the side in confusion, glancing from Albus's face to Severus's. "As you are no doubt well aware, Lilly was murdered by the hands of Voldemort. James, your son survived."  
  
"What?" James whispered.  
  
"It's true. Because of the love that you and Lilly had for him, the killing curse that Voldemort was going use was reflected back at him. For eleven years, Voldemort regained the power that was nearly drained from him but I shall leave the details of Harry's life to him. He will be eager to share them with you."  
  
"I can't be a father to him. I'm probably only a few years older than him! Albus, will you excuse me? I'd like to take a walk."  
  
"Of course you're excused, James."  
  
"Thank you. Severus, you may join me if you wish." Severus nodded, holding onto the shaking young man's arm as they exited the room, James pulling the cowl of his robes over his face. "Harry survived. I thought that he was dead. My son, how can I even call him that when I wasn't even around for more than a year of his life? Will he be angry with me? Hate me?"  
  
"For seven years, all I've had to hear from your son is how much he misses his parents and loves them. Everything he's ever done was in order to make you proud. He could never hate you James."  
  
"Hmm. Severus, I don't blame you for what happened to me or Lilly. I don't blame you for being angry with me. I betrayed our love because of a wish from my parents. It was stupid of me. If anyone should be mad, it should be you, at me."  
  
"I carried my anger and guilt with me and it only seemed to become greater when Harry entered Hogwart's. Everytime I looked at the boy, I saw you and was reminded of our past together. I'll admit that I haven't been exactly kind to him and he'll probably tell you what an insufferable git I am."  
  
James smirked. "I've always known that you were an insufferable git but you're my insufferable git so I'm only allowed to call you that."  
  
Severus sank down onto one of the windowseats, gazing fondly at James. He was still so attractive. "You want me, even now? I'm not who I used to be James. I've done terrible things and I wouldn't take any of them back. There are things that even you don't know. Time hasn't been as kind to me as it has been to you."  
  
"You'll always be beautiful to me Sev." James joined Severus, removing the cowl. It was true that most people didn't find Severus physically attractive but James did. The inky black hair that was so soft to the touch despite the sheen of grease that came from laboring over cauldrons. The bottomless onyx eyes that showed emotion only to him. The pale skin that was like velvet to the touch. The frame that was so slender that it seemed feminine.  
  
"Only you would think so."  
  
"Forever. What have you been doing with your life?"  
  
"I teach Potions and I'm a Potions Master. I'm surprised you haven't asked about Black, Lupin or Pettigrew."  
  
James laughed. "I was going to, just not yet. I'm more interested in you at the moment." Severus rolled his eyes. "Alright, Alright, tell me what my beloved friends have been doing in these years that I've been away from the world."  
  
"Pettigrew betrayed you and your friends for a greater reward from Voldemort. You'll be happy to know that Harry personally killed the bastard."  
  
James shook his head. "I can't believe Peter would have done something like that. I mean, I always knew that he was jealous of Sirius and Remus's relationship and to an extent, was jealous of my popularity but I wouldn't have thought he would do something so vile. I'm glad he's dead."  
  
"Black was sent to Azkaban for the your murders as well as thirteen muggles."  
  
"Azkaban?!"  
  
"I'm afraid so but he escaped after twelve years. The more romantically inclined believe that Black was driven by his intense love for Lupin. I, however, believe that Black went insane. The insane have been known to do remarkable feats. In my opinion, Black is still crazy," Severus grumbled. "Lupin was without work, just doing odd jobs in villages that didn't know he was werewolf until Albus brought him to work at Hogwart's four years ago to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor. I hate to say but I exposed him as werewolf and the horrified parents sent letters complaining to Albus about it. Lupin felt it best he quit." James gave Severus a glare. "Don't look at me like that. I was still angry with him. Lupin and Black reunited that year and it's safe to assume that they consummated their love for the remaining years that Black was alive."  
  
"Siri's....dead?"  
  
"I'm getting to that just shut up. Anyway, we re-organised the Order of the Phoenix two years ago and since Black was a convicted felon on the run from the Ministry, he was given specific orders to remain at Grimmauld. Kreacher, the Black family elf, told secrets to the Malfoy's thus letting Voldemort know that the one person Harry cared the most about was Black. Voldemort set up a trap and Bellatrix killed Sirius. However, last year, Harry went through a few ordeals, a tournament of sorts in magic, and since he won the tournament, he was able to recieved any Dark Item he wanted. He chose the Forlorn Hope, a mirror that can grant anyone's wish in exchange for that persons's life. Harry wished to resurrect Sirius but it would seem that Draco Malfoy wasn't ready for Harry to die so he wished for the mirror to take his life instead. Because of Draco's unselfish sacrifice, the mirror granted the wish without taking either of their lives."  
  
"That's....a bit hard to digest. Okay, so, Sirius was dead and brought back to life by the Forlorn Hope and my son is gay with a Malfoy being his boyfriend?"  
  
"No, I'm not positive if Harry's gay but I know that Draco does have feelings for him. Draco betrayed his father for the Light but I know he actually did it for Harry. Unfortunately, Harry doesn't return those feelings and openly disdains Draco." Severus shrugged. "But, I'm not getting into that. Your Harry's father so it's your job to talk to him about it. Speaking of Harry would you like to meet your son?"  
  
"I...I...don't know. What would I say to him? Do?"  
  
"What your heart tells you to." Severus took James's hand, hoisting him to his feet. "We're going, whether you like it or not." Ignorning James's protests, Severus led James's towards the Gryffindor Tower. Severus knew Sirius and Remus would be in there with him, probably with several of his friends and there was no greater gift than the one that Harry was about to recieve.  
  
~ ~ ~  
  
O.o That was nearly five pages. I really hope you all review. It would make me so happy and to know I haven't wasted my time writing this.  
  
Questions you readers might have:  
  
Q. Why didn't you let James and Severus suffer a little before getting them together? A. Because, James and Severus will be going through some rocky times during the course of this rather short story and I wanted there to be some happiness at the beginning. Besides, they had once loved each other very, very much and it's only right they renew it.  
  
Q. What the hell is wrong with you making all the main characters gay? A. Since I became obsessed with the slash/yaoi genre, I find that I absolutely loathe the main female characters and refuse to pair them with my favourite boys.  
  
Q. What couples are already established? A. Sirius/Remus, Ron/Hermione, James/Severus, Ginny/Dean, Billy/Fleur, Seamus/Blaise, Neville/Lavendar, Percy/Oliver  
  
Q. Will there be Draco and Harry? A. That all depends. Either you readers can choose that Harry never accepts Draco's love and dates Luna Lovegood or he does accept Draco's love. It's up to you.  
  
Q. Will the story delve into the other relationships? A. You will most definitely see side stories involving Draco and Harry, and Sirius/Remus. The others are only used as a backbone for the story.  
  
Q. I recognize the bit about the tournament, where did it come from? A. The reference to the tournament in the fifth paragraph near the bottom comes from Yuu Yuu Hakusho; the Dark Tournament in which Yusuke's team fights through and finally ends up winning against the Toguro Team. The Forlorn Hope is also from Yuu Yuu Hakusho and during YYH, Kurama steals it in order to save his mother's life. Yusuke asks the Forlorn Hope to take his life instead so Kurama wouldn't have to leave his mother. The mirror spares both of their lives.  
  
Q. Why do you never update your old stories? A. I get sick of fandoms very quickly, as seen with my Yugioh, Gundam Wing, Rurouni Kenshin and Dragonball Z stories. Honestly, until this Harry Potter obsession dissipates, I doubt I will be updating any other stories from any other fandoms.  
  
Q. Which stories will be updated soon and will there be any new ones? A. Finding Hope in the Darkness should be updated within a few days. I'm estimating that there only three or so more chapters of it. Quid me Nutrit me Destruit will be updated in a week. You can always check my user panel by accesing my name to see when things will be updated.  
  
Thank you for your time, my cabbits. :-) 


	2. To make me believe that I am alive

Title: And Forever Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter Warnings: Male x Male Summary: James returns to the land of the living only to find that his only son disapproves of his relationship with Severus

Disclaimers: Not mine

Warnings: Male x male  
  
I have you, a lover and a friend. You are everything to me. You are the sun, the air I breathe. Without you, life wouldn't be the same. Please don't ever go away and if you do, don't forget to take me with you -Basia "Reward"  
  
Chapter Two  
  
"Sev, please! I don't think it's a good idea to do this." James protested as Severus continued to drag him by his arm towards the Gryffindor tower. His pleas were met with the stony silence that James associated with Severus when he was in one of his determined moods. James sighed, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. Once his lover's mind was set, nothing could sway him. A wicked smile highlighted James's youthful, exuberant visage. Well, almost nothing but this was hardly the time or place to indulge in orchestral maneuvers in the dark. Instead, the young man quelled the warring emotions currently knotting his entrails, focused solely on the scene that was about to unfold.  
  
The Fat Lady narrowed her eyes at the duo standing before her portrait. She loathed Severus Snape yet, there was a familiar aura about the handsome man clutching the snarky Potions professor's body almost desperately. They were obviously lovers from the position of their bodies. Strange, she thought, she recognized him. Unable to place the face with a name, she said imperiously, "Password?" "Incidium." The portrait opened and James felt he wanted to fall through the floor. Severus gently added his support, knowing the turmoil this was wreaking on James's psyche. James hesitantly followed Severus into the Common Room, darting glances at the recognizable room. "James, you have nothing to be afraid of. I promise that if it's too difficult for you to tolerate, we'll leave, no questions asked." Severus smiled his rare, quiet smile, squeezing James's hand tenderly.  
  
"Thank you. I should be fine, as long as you're here with me." James returned the grin albeit more subdued. The pair ascended the staircase leading to the seventh year dormitories. With every step, James's heart pummeled louder in his chest. There was no turning back now. Pausing in front of the door leading to his son, James took a deep breath. "Severus, ki-" James needn't ask as Severus's lips descended upon his own, claiming them possessively.  
  
James reluctantly withdrew from the searing embrace. It was time. Taking control, James knocked on the door, replacing the cowl and hugging his robes close to his body. The door swung open and James was forced to shush his gasp. An almost exact replica of himself stood before him, all save the piercing emerald-green eyes that belonged to Lilly. The same haphazard black hair that couldn't be tamed, the same bone structures, the same colored skin… It was practically frightening. He peered inside, catching a glimpse of a couple on one of the beds, the only others inside.  
  
"Professor Snape," Harry politely greeted Severus, "What brings you to the Gryffindor Tower? I know that I'm passing your class and I haven't been disobedient enough to receive a detention." James was taken aback by how fake Harry's tone was and how guarded his eyes were towards Severus. Severus hadn't been exaggerating. Harry truly hated him. James frowned. Harry would never accept their relationship and it was his son's approval that James wanted the most.  
  
Severus snidely smirked. "Hn, your charming personality will never change, will it? You'll always be the same, even in front of my special guest." James's eyes widened as Severus prodded his back, not liking the sly twinkle in his lover's dark eyes. "Harry, I'd like you to meet someone, someone you've been dieing to meet for your entire life, especially these last seven years."  
  
James cursed Severus fluently in seven different languages as his words sparked an interest in the other two occupants of Harry's room. James nearly screamed with horror. Oh, to make matters worse, the couple had to be his only best friends. They appeared so happy and yet, so sad. Sirius hadn't changed a bit since their boyhood days. Laughing light blue eyes and long, sable tresses that hung nearly to his slender waist. James had to smile. At least Sirius seemed to be the same. James's attentions turned towards the other man. Remus. Beautiful to a fault though entirely unaware of it. Honeyed strands were pulled into a sloppy ponytail, bangs nearly hiding the glowing amber eyes from view. Small and petite, Remus balanced Sirius perfectly. James wasn't too surprised they were staring at him like a circus freak.  
  
"What do you mean, Snape?" Sirius gritted through clenched teeth. James chuckled, arising more interest to himself. They still got on each other's last nerves. It was a climatic battle that had started on the first day they'd entered first year together. Sirius's burning gaze was directed at James. "Who the hell are you?"  
  
Severus sneered. "Why don't you show them yourself, James?"  
  
Three gasps greeted Severus's announcement. James threw the cowl of his robe off, meeting the shocked looks of his friends and son. Silence filled the room, the trio disbelieving that the attractive young man standing before them was in reality the supposed long-since-been-deceased James Potter. "What kind of sick joke is this?!" Sirius screeched, breaking the quiet, voicing Harry and Remus's sentiments. "You get your jollies from hurting us, Snape?" Sirius hissed. "Where'd you find him, eh? One of your fuck toys that you imagine to be James? Thought you'd bring him here to-"  
  
"STOP IT!" James yelled, hazel eyes glinting ferally. "Sirius shut your mouth before you piss me off! You have no right to speak to Severus like that. He only brought me here as a gift to Harry so he could know his father." Tears began to fall down James's cheeks. "You should be thanking him. I was more than content to live my existence without you ever knowing that I'm alive but I am. It's me Sirius. Please, believe me. I'm so tired of it all, I need you and Remus and I especially need you Harry."  
  
"My gods," Remus breathed, "It is you." The werewolf approached his old friend, shaking his head. Peals of laughter bubbled from Remus, tears coursing freely down his face. He threw his arms around James, embracing him tightly. "I never expected in my wildest dreams I'd ever see you again but it really is you. You smell the same and you definitely look the same. How did it happen? Why are you alive?"  
  
Sirius giggled, throwing himself into the hold. "Who cares about that Remmy? He's here! Just when I thought it couldn't get better, it does." Harry stayed to the side, feeling awkward, angry, and betrayed all at once. He had to admit, this wasn't exactly how he'd expected to feel. He'd dreamt of meeting his father but it was always full of so much love; but with a man that was twice his age, not four years older than himself. He was a little perturbed about it. How could he be a son to James when they were so close in age?  
  
Severus growled. "If you don't mind, James has just returned to the land of the living today. I think it's in your best interests if you quit crushing him." Remus and Sirius obeyed, not realizing that James was almost choking to death. "Thank you. James, do you want me to stay or go?"  
  
"Answer that for yourself, moron." James rolled his eyes. "The only reason I agreed to do this was because of your constant nagging. You're worse than a wife." James smirked. "You can be the wife, if you want."  
  
Sirius did a full-body shiver. "Ugh, James, don't do that! It's bad enough that you two seem to have made up but to bring your sexual life in front of us, icky." Sirius glanced at the stone-faced Harry. "Aren't you even going to say hello to your father? You've wanted to meet him for a long time. Here's your chance. What, are you shy?"  
  
Harry shook his head, not able to even look at his father. "I can't believe this. You're OKAY with the fact that my father is flirting with Severus Snape?! That, I assume, they're in a relationship?! What the hell is the matter with you two?! Don't tell me you're fine with it?!"  
  
"Harry, calm down," Remus said beseechingly, glancing from Severus to James. One nearly boiling over with rage while the other looked ready to cry. "They've been together since they were younger than you."  
  
"WHAT?!" Harry bellowed, face turning red from embarrassment, extreme fury and revulsion. "I thought my father loved my mother but I was wrong. He was too busy fucking Severus Snape to even give a damn about her. All I've been told, all I've believed has been a load of bullshit. He didn't love her." Harry shook his head. "My father's a fag," he spat disgustingly.  
  
James was still. He didn't move, he could barely think straight and the only sounds reaching his ears was his heart pounding furiously. This wasn't the homecoming he'd imagined. He had hoped that Harry would accept him as his father but not now. It was clear that love was the furthest from what Harry was feeling. To make it worse, Harry was right. He hadn't loved Lilly. It was a relationship based on lies. Lilly had believed that James had loved her but every night, James would apparate to his and Severus's secluded cabin in Sweden where he'd lose himself in the sensations of being with the one he truly loved and desired.  
  
Sirius beat Severus to berating Harry. "Nice choice of words, Harry. A fag, huh? It never occurred to you that Remus and I are gay? You never paid any attention to us when we were alone or even in your presence? Did the touches not mean anything to you? What, thought they were innocent friendship pats? I'd thought you were more observant, but you're the only one hasn't seen that Remus and I are together and have been since we were eleven. You're not very accepting. It's the Muggle blood in you. Until you becoming a little more tolerant, stay away from me." Sirius turned on his heel, stalking from the room. Remus offered a fleeting glare at Harry and an apologetic glance at James before following his infuriated lover.  
  
Harry's jaw unclenched and clenched rapidly. He'd just lost the closest people he'd ever known as to being his family. He couldn't accept it, that they were gay. It was revolting. To think, he'd let them near him. Yet, why did he feel so guilty? Why couldn't he accept their sexuality with ease like so many other wizards did? The lost expression on his father's face was enough to cause him to weep but he'd made a promise to himself that no one would ever see him cry. Not even his friends or family.  
  
"I'm warning you, don't come near him." Severus placed his arm around James's shoulders, leading him towards the door. "Oh, and Potter, I honestly hope that you change your mind or you've just lost half of your friends."  
  
Harry watched them go, brows furrowed. "Lose half of my friends?" he murmured, not exactly sure he liked what that implied. The youth sank down onto his bed, taking out the tattered photo album he'd had since first year. His mother and father. How many more lies were told to him? The fairytale childhood he'd imagined suddenly crumbled before him. It wasn't a fairytale, it was a nightmare.  
  
"James, are you alright?" Severus inquired as the couple made their way towards Severus's chambers. James didn't respond, he kept his head bowed, eyes listless. "Damnit James, don't bottle yourself up. I know how you get when you act like this and eventually, you'll just become so full of pent of emotions that you'll eventually collapse from the stress. I know you James, don't forget that. Harry will come around soon enough. You just have to be patient. He's as headstrong as you are. You have to remember, he was raised by Muggles and his Muggles most definitely have a close-minded view of the world."  
  
James smiled wanly, linking their hands together. "You're right. You always are. That's what I hate most about you." James sighed, moving closer to Severus. "I just wish he wouldn't have said it so….so….nauseatingly. It makes me feel…ashamed of being gay. Oh, don't pout. I'm not ashamed of you. I love you. It's just, if my own son can't consent to his father's sexuality then how are we ever supposed to get along?"  
  
"Then, it wasn't meant to be, now was it?" Severus spoke the password to his rooms, glad that one of the house elves had lighted the fire. "Come on, sit down and I'll have the elves bring us food." He motioned for James to be seated on the plush, velour couch in front of the blazing hearth. He disappeared into one of the rooms, leaving James alone with his thoughts.  
  
James removed his robes, sickened by the mere thought of that fateful night when he'd been imprisoned by the Death Eater's. "Sev? Do you have an clothes I can wear? Sev? Where are you?" James stood, ignoring that he was nude. "This isn't funny. You know I can't stand it when you play your games. Look, I'm naked and if you want to ravish me come right ahead and do it."  
  
"Oh, agreeing so quickly, are you?" Severus whispered huskily in James's ear. "So unlike you to do that. You used to make our little games go on for quite sometime. Don't you remember?"  
  
"Who wouldn't?" James said, cocking one brow and regarding Severus with interest. "Muggle clothes? What the hell's wrong with you?" He had to come clean; Severus was very attractive in the tight, black, leather pants leaving nothing to the imagination and an even more form-molding black sweater. "If I wasn't so famished and fatigued, I'd jump your bones."  
  
"And mess my clothes? You wouldn't dare."  
  
"Finicky as ever, aren't you?" James snorted. "Why are you dressed like that? Last time I checked, you hate Muggles." Severus thrusted a bundle into James's hands. "Clothes for me? Alright, this is becoming spooky. What's your grand plan?"  
  
Severus kept his grin to himself, allowing himself leisure time to explore the suppleness of his lover's body before answering. "The house elves are on break due to Voldemort's defeat so I've decided we're going out to eat. Hmm, you know, let's stay in and have sex all night instead."  
  
"I don't think so. I'm starving."  
  
"I'm starving as well but for something a little more…erotic." Severus paused James's motions to pull the shirt over his head. "It's been over twenty years James, since I last had sex. I'm an old man. You're still in your peak. I'm positive you can keep your own with me."  
  
"No," James said harshly, roughly moving Severus's hold on him. "I don't want to have sex, okay? I might not ever feel like having sex again and if you pressure me, I swear I'll leave you."  
  
Severus was taken aback by the ferocity in James's voice and the warning gleam in his eyes. "You definitely know how to harsh a bloke's boner. You're letting what Harry said affect you, aren't you? You really are ashamed of us."  
  
"I'm not. I wouldn't lie about that." James finished dressing, feeling uncomfortable. "It's been a while for me too. In case you haven't noticed, I'm not used to being in a body. I'm trying to get used to this again. It's almost like learning how to walk. I'm sorry, Severus. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."  
  
"We should be going." Severus left his chambers hastily.  
  
"Oh Sev." James shoved his hands in his pockets and depressingly followed Severus, surmising that this wasn't going to be the last argument they'd have. If anything, it was more than likely going to get worse as time rolled by. He loved Severus and he knew if he had to choose between Severus or Harry, it would be Severus. Paternal love is completely different from the love of soul mates. James just didn't know where Severus's mindset was. To satisfy twenty years of longing or to satisfy twenty years of loneliness?

Can you believe it?! I updated! XD Ha. Bet you thought you'd never see me again, eh? I think I'm going to work on this story and only this one for now until I get back into the groove of writing fan fiction.  
  
Leave me a review and tell me if I've improved or gotten worse in my long absence. Oh, is it just me or am I being even more perverted? slaps self James and Severus just got together and Sev already wants to do the horizontal tango! . Grrrrr. 


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